A Moment of Reflection

I'm not a very deep person. I'm also not shallow. But being deep and being shallow can mean totally different things, so we'll just go with... I ramble. On to what I want to blog about:

There are moments when you know you're doing something right, but at the same time you feel bad that you don't do that thing more often or that you don't think to do it more. I was reminded of this at bedtime tonight.

Sometimes getting the kids to bed is rough. I get impatient, because I just want them to go to bed so I can get things done or spend time with my husband. "O.K., kids. Go to sleep. See you in the morning. I'm going to go do some dishes and check on you in a little while." Many times I hear from Jr., "You have to lie down with me." Sometimes I end up doing that. I used to lie down with Nichole before she'd fall asleep. That was before Jr. was born and when he was a baby and didn't ask for us to lie down with him. Now it seems Nichole gets put aside, because Jr. is younger and makes a bigger deal out of it. Every once in a great while I will lie down with Nichole, but usually I'm anxious for the kids to stay in their beds because I know that after I leave the room, I'll have maybe five or ten minutes before Nichole is out of her room asking for something or trying to see what we're doing.

Tonight, Jeremy was off doing a show, the kids and I played a game before bedtime, then did our getting ready for bed activities. I told the kids I was going to put the library books back in their place then come back to lie down with Jr. for a few minutes then sit with Nichole after that. When I got back, Jr. was already asleep, so I sat down by Nichole's bed. She and I chatted for a little bit. I wasn't hurrying to get her to sleep or at least stay in her bed so I could get things done. I just sat with her and really gave her that attention. It felt good. I was reminded of other times when she and I have had some beautiful moments, absolutely silent moments, where she's lying down and I'm sitting next to her and we just look and smile at each other and we both can really feel that love for each other, without speaking a word. Those moments, and moments like tonight are so precious and so good for us, but they don't happen enough.

I get busy and forget that maybe Nichole isn't just trying to stall when she comes out of her room at night. Maybe she actually needs that one on one no interruptions time with Mom. Quiet time for just us. Whether it's silent or with talking. That time to show her my love by giving her that attention she needs.

I love my daughter and know that she is such a blessing to me. I don't want to mess things up, but sometimes I forget some of the simplest yet most important things.